I loved him and he's dead
by 00GraceTheFangirl00
Summary: Hyacinthus is dead. Apollo's reaction.


He's dead. I could still hear the sickening crunching sound of the discus hitting his head killing him almost instantly. I could still hear his surprised gasp as he saw the discus flying towards him. I could still see him falling, bright red blood trailing behind him, staining the ground crimson. I could still hear his shuddering final breath.

Hyacinthus was dead.

The scene replayed in my head.

I couldn't think.

In all of my immortal life, I have only felt despair such as this once before. On that fateful day, just over 200 years ago. When Daphne was turned into a laurel tree.

That was my fault.

I had sworn not to marry. That's why I didn't grant Hyacinthus immortality.

If I had made him immortal he wouldn't be dead.

Clio was screaming at me, I didn't hear a word she was saying.

My fault.

I just stared at his corpse sprawled across the ground at my feet.

There are some things even gods cannot heal.

Clio kept screaming, her words washing over me like gentle waves.

Not even I can resurrect the dead.

They did nothing against the screaming of my mind.

If only my future son Asclepius was alive.

I could hardly believe what I was seeing.

He could bring back the dead.

I couldn't have spoken if I wanted to.

He could have saved him.

I don't even remember Clio getting here.

The scene replayed in my head as I took a shaky step towards him, towards my greatest lover. My mouth was slightly ajar.

Why? I hadn't thrown the discus to hit him! I couldn't have missed..

I knelt next to him, my hand outstretched, not touching him.

I did this.

I was afraid to touch him.

This was my fault.

His eyes were dead and glassy.

I closed them, murmuring a blessing.

I loved him.

His skin was still warm.

My fault.

Blood still gushed from the head wound that I had inflicted.

Clio grabbed my shoulder and turned me forcibly to face her.

I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

She was screaming.

I couldn't hear her over the pounding of ichor in my ears.

What had I done?

I turned back to Hyacinthus, wrenching out of her grasp. I laid my hand on his forehead. A tear rolled off my cheek and landed on his perfect nose.

I will never see his purple eyes again.

I brushed the hair out of his face.

I'm not letting Hades claim you.

Flowers grew from his blood, red streaks on their petals.

Red streaks that mirrored his blood. The blood that I spilled

One of my tears landed on the flowers.

You shall live forever as a flower my love

Clio was screaming, finally, I heard her.

"You killed him. You killed my only son!" I didn't respond. Icouldn'trespond.

He was d e a d.

I heard laughing. Who could possibly be laughing?

Why would someone be laughing?

I turned around, only to see Zephyros cracking up a little ways away.

He admired Hyacinthus too. I told him to stay out of our relationship.

"Well, would you look at that!" He cackled. "Wittle mortal Hyacinthus is dead."

How dare he.

"And all it took was a littleg u s t o f w i n d"

I saw red.

One moment I was sobbing the next I had risen to my full height and I was charging at him.

I had drawn my bow, and I was shooting. I launched volley after volley of arrows, but none hit.

Not a single arrow landed.

"I'm a wind god! Arrows can't hurt me!"

I couldn't think straight over my anger. The next thing I knew I had Zephyros pinned to the ground, and I was punching him.

His fault.

Clio had taken to watching.

It's his fault my Hyacinthus is dead.

Zephyros used his wind abilities to send me flying, I landed an easy twenty feet away. When I got up again he was gone.

He killed Hyacinthus.

I wanted to go find him. I wanted to make him suffer for what he's done.

He's dead because of him.

But I couldn't make myself move.

My shoulders were shaking.

Dead

I fell to my knees with a dull thud.

Hyacinthus is dead.

Clio was gone.

I could still hear Zephyros mocking voice in my head.

My love is dead...

I shouldn't have told the wind god not to interfere.

...again.

I should have protected him better.

I didn't.

Why didn't I protect him?!

And now he's dead. He's gone.

I waved my hand, and a grave appeared next to me.

A final goodbye

I couldn't bring myself to bury him.

But I had to.

He's dead.

Mortal bodies decay, and I would never let scavengers get to him.

I stared at his body.

Flowers continued to bloom from the blood.

I couldn't do this.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

I felt someone's hand lay on my shoulder.

I turned around, ready to skewer whoever dared interrupt me.

I wanted/needed/had to be alone

Artemis's solemn face greeted me.

I felt fresh tears well up in my eyes.

My sister.

I tried to speak, to tell her to leave.

But all I could manage was a strangled sob.

No, I didn't need to be alone. I needed her.

Artemis knelt next to me. She opened her arms, offering a hug.

I don't deserve her kindness.

I don't remember accepting the hug.

I practically lunged at her.

I don't remember burying my head into her shoulder.

I couldn't face her. I couldn't facehim.

But suddenly I was in her arms.

She held me tightly. She wasn't judging me. She cared.

She was holding me.

I was sobbing. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

My entire body was shaking with the force of my tears and grief.

Artemis rubbed circles on my back as I sobbed.

My sister.

Everyone else always leaves me.

My twin.

She's the only one who stays.

Please never leave me too.

If you do I don't know what I'll do.

 _I need you._


End file.
